walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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