The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
