Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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