I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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