11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
