I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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