what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
