I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
