I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
