Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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