Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
