How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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