Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
