I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
