He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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