wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
