At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
