Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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