Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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