im holly from the hills drunk
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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