She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
