We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I want you more than these girls want KFC
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
