My balls are so social today.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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