We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
