SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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