I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize
