I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize