After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
