I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
