it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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