ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's blow job season.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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