ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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