my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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