Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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