Don't you send me to vm
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
