Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
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