What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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