Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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