The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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