I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't deserve a penis
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
