No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
