if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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