do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
