i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
