i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
