I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
