I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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