oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
