Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
