I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
