the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My pussy is not your playground.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
