Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
